I struggle with balance a lot. I have a habit of going to extremes, particularly when it comes to achievement. I am a serious workaholic. My nickname among several social circles is either “machine”, or “robot”. It is not a mark I wear with pride.

What does it mean to be balanced anyways? Some of my friends advise me to do “normal people things” like watch more TV, or go out more, or just don’t work so hard. That kind of advice wears on me a bit. I don’t want to watch five hours of TV a day, go out and drink two nights a week, and have two and a half children. Balanced, in my mind, ought not to mean average.

So maybe I don’t need balance after all? That’s clearly not true. I’ve lost ten pounds since I moved to New York. I am constantly working late into the night.  I am doing the best work of my life, and opening new doors every day. I am meeting lots of people all the time. I am certainly living a life of extremes, and while I don’t feel the wear and tear much now, I suspect it is take a toll.

What should balance look like for me? I am not sure, but I do have a hypothesis, which I will test this summer. Balance for me might mean living at the fastest sustainable pace. I was recently talking with a friend and mentor, and she mentioned how I am firing on all cylinders, all the time. That can be great for a while, but it shouldn’t be a continuous thing. I ought to find a way to pace myself.

This requires a mindset switch. Instead of asking how I might be the most productive person I can be now, I ought to ask how I might be the best person I can be over time. Instead of investing in work that has clear immediate benefits, I ought to invest in more speculative, playful activities. Perhaps this means I should spend some time studying great movies, instead of keeping up with Hacker News. Perhaps this means going to events and meetups that are not strictly design or technology related. Perhaps this means means doing what I feel like doing, instead of what I think I ought to be doing.

What does balance mean to you? How do you keep it?