Had trouble doing the writing for the thesis narrative, so I wrote a tl;dr to see if it would help.

Election campaigns are absurdly expensive. To stay in the game, politicians must fundraise millions, leaving them at the mercy of corporations, unions, and donors with deep pockets. To keep the tabs flowing, congress pursues priorities likely to help raise more funds. The people’s agenda falls by the wayside. So, don’t hate the politicians, hate the electoral game. What can we do about it? Fix campaign financing.

… and a second attempt:

Why are congress’s priorities so messed up? Because “messed up” priorities pay for elections. Campaigns are absurdly expensive. To stay in the game, politicians must fundraise millions, leaving them at the mercy of corporations, unions, and big donors. Since they fund the campaigns, their priorities win, and your priorities loses. So, don’t hate the politicians, hate the electoral game. How do we fix this? By freeing congress from raising funds via big donors, and get them to raise funds from you, the people.

Thoughts? Edits? Complete rewrites? I need help!